What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What do you think about a sister's love?

What! how could you do that?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

Why does my intimate area “sweat” and smell so much? I almost have to have a shower everyday. How do I get rid of this?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What do you mean son?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

How do you handle your mother-in-law after you heard her talking badly about you in the next room?

Do you know what she said mum?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What are the core beliefs of liberalism and conservatism? Can you provide a list of defining characteristics for each side?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

At what point does trespassing become self defense? What are the necessary conditions for this line to be crossed from trespassing to self defense?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.